Sings if hes dating another girl
When some rando girl eventually does pop into his life, it'll take about two days for her to realize who the real woman in his life is and commence hating you with a firey passion.She'll spend the entire relationship being fake AF to your face and demanding to know why you're his best friend on Snapchat behind closed doors.
It's almost like he has an alert set for your Instagram posts (he does).Anything other than buying you a shot at a birthday party all your friends are already at is a lot to begin with.But if he takes you out for a separate meal on your birthday, he's either trying to date you or adopt you. He'll probably even jokingly refer to it as a "date" like five to 10 times before you realize what's going on, pretend to have a birthday emergency, and tell him you'll Venmo him for half the bill knowing full well he'll never charge you." and "Hahahaha what if you signed this marriage certificate?" He will mention going on dates sometimes, but you've never met any of these girls. Even a brief look at his Instagram will show that his interactions with females are limited to tagging you in photos, liking your photos, commenting on your friends' photos of you, and the occasional Russian sex bot.
He also low-key missed his grandma's funeral so that he could make your birthday party, and ended up having to Facetime into the wake while you were on the dance floor making out with a rando.